RELATIONSHIP: Who Is the Proposal Really For? – Berry Dakara


IMG-20130603-WA035-600x400Before I got engaged, when my then-boyfriend and I were sure we were heading down the marriage path; like all girls I fantasized about my dream proposal. I actually wrote a blog post about the different ways I’d like to get proposed to.

One thing I knew for sure was I didn’t want to be proposed to on my birthday. I thought it was too cliché and expected. Plus guys use it as an excuse to not buy a birthday present. {LOL!} I told my sister that I thought Cakes would propose on my birthday, hoping she would tell him and that he would change his plans. But noooooope, my dear dear dear husband decided to propose on the one day I didn’t want to get engaged.

I’m still waiting for my SEPARATE birthday present, Mister!

Not too long ago, we reminisced about the proposal. I confessed that I was not too thrilled about it being on my birthday. His response was something along the lines of, “The proposal is about the guy and what he wants. It’s not about the girl. This is the last decision he can make by himself that doesn’t involve her wants.”

Of course, as a female, I was stunned and argued that the proposal is kind of like a gift to her, and so should reflect what she likes.



For instance, some women are really shy and would prefer an intimate private proposal – would it be “right” for her guy to have a surprise proposal party or ask her to marry him in a public place?

According to the hubby, YES! He has gone through the process of buying the ring and should be able to ask however, whenever, and wherever he wants to.

I say, BIG FAT NO!!! The ring is a present to her, and should be given to her in a manner that best suits her personality.

What do you think?

About Berry Choco Latte

Berry Dakara is a Lifestyle blogger ( who shares her thoughts on anything and everything from marriage to friendships to faith, and other random topics. You can find her on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook – @berrydakara. She’s also a weekly contributor to the African Naturalistas, a natural hair website and consultancy dedicated to teaching healthy hair care practices.


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