Remember the popular Nigeria saying, “Do quick marry o, husband scarce”? Well, it’s fun and rosy until you’re in your twenties or thirties in school and you’re juggling between school, marriage, and maybe kids. Being a student is a different thing, being a mom is a different thing, and being a wife is also a different thing. All these responsibilities jumbled into one person isn’t so easy. I once saw a quote on Instagram it said “Acknowledge and appreciate your parents too, they’re also trying to figure life out while taking care of you”. Now imagine a student going through all these things at the same time.
Being married while also schooling is a whole different level on its own, and the most tedious part of it all is you can’t afford to fail at any part of your life. It’s 2024, yes, women empowerment and all that is there, but let’s be honest it is not easy. Don’t get me wrong it’s not easy but it is doable.
One of the perks of being married is that you’re responsible for your family and everything that happens in it. So, you have no one to blame for anything. But one of the joys is that you have a permanent shoulder to lean on, until the end of time. And I think that’s beautiful.
Being married as a student will come with its own set of challenges. Some common challenges researched by Naijassador include:
1. Time management
Balancing the responsibilities of being a student, spouse, and potentially a parent can be demanding. From taking care of your spouse, to the kids, to school, and maybe a job, can be very hectic. It may not be easy at first and it’s fine. The best way to relieve yourself is to find a schedule that allows for studying, attending classes, and spending quality time with your spouse. It’s going to help you be on track and avoid being overwhelmed.
2. Financial strain
Being a student often means having limited financial resources, and being married adds another layer of financial responsibility. Managing tuition fees, living expenses, and potentially supporting a family can be stressful, very stressful indeed! But that’s where planning comes in. Sure, enough casualties will happen but planning will make it easier to curb.
3. Social dynamics
This is another challenge on its own. Married students might find it challenging to connect with their single peers, as their priorities and lifestyles differ totally. It’s important to find a support system of fellow married students or couples who understand the unique challenges you face. Most importantly don’t weigh yourself down. Don’t compare yourself to them and don’t regret your decision. Can I let you in on a little secret? I really admire married students. I find them really awesome. So, you’re totally fine.
4. Role balancing
Balancing the roles of student, spouse, and potentially a parent can be overwhelming. Sometimes due to the stress, it may seem like you’re slowly dying from the inside. Just know you’re going to be fine. It’s important to communicate openly with your spouse about expectations, responsibilities, and finding ways to support each other.
5. Lack of privacy
Living in shared accommodations, such as dorms or student housing, may limit the privacy that married couples desire. Especially when it comes to the love call. You know now, students love love. But still find ways to create personal space and maintain intimacy with your spouse.
Remember, every situation is unique, and these challenges may vary depending on individual circumstances and it may be really stressful too. It’s important to communicate openly with your significant other, seek support from family, friends or people on campus (trusted people), and prioritise self-care to navigate these challenges successfully.
Juggling these three or two parts of your life (if you don’t have kids of course!) may not be easy but you can do it. You have got power girl, you’ve got this.
Written by Dike Ijeoma
