I love writing to single women. Maybe because for many decades of Valentine’s days I did not have any bobo to even buy me chocomilo; or maybe because I often would flip flop between wanting to be an “independent” woman, and wanting to be a trophy wife. Maybe it was because I had finally decided to enjoy singleness, when my own handsome chocomilo came into my life. Well whatever the case, I understand how it feels to want something so badly, that you forget to enjoy what you have.
So here are my tips:
Sleep. Sleep. Sleep
I once attended an event and a young lady there said that she was waking up at 5am now so that she would be used to it when she starts having babies. My dear ladies please I beg you o enjoy your sleep now while you can. Don’t lose sleep in “preparation.” Trust me, when the children (AKA mini ogas) come you won’t need an alarm to wake up.
Love Your Body
Chai I wish I had taken this one seriously before now, because it’s very true. That stomach that you feel is big, or you have too much fat or whatever, it will only get bigger and fatter after you have a baby, so best bet is to love it now, so you don’t look back and wish you had appreciated it. You’re beautiful as you are, don’t let anyone rob you of that confidence. Our bodies are always changing, so enjoy where you are.
Listen to Your Mother
Believe it or not, your mother has had children before, so there are some things she knows that would make your life easier. So don’t take her for granted, or any other woman that has a motherly role in your life. Anyone who is willing to sacrifice for you, is someone that is worthy of your time and respect.
Your Mother Does Not Know Everything – Be Prepared To Do Your Research
Things that may have been the norm when your mother was having children may not necessarily be the best practice now. For example back in the day babies slept on their tummies, now they tell us not to let them do that because of SIDs, or babies took glucose water, now they say not to because of the dilution of enzymes, and the list goes on. There are many wonderful parenting websites out there, find the ones you’re comfortable with, start learning, and then when you have the opportunity, ask a medical personnel
Kids are Expensive – and You’ll Never Have Enough Money To Be Prepared To Have Them
Be wise about your money now, and you won’t be too stressed out when they come. With kids, as with anything worthwhile, start saving before you even think you need to, and you’ll be surprised that every little bit you’re able to save makes a world of difference.
Give Yourself Permission To Be Different
Ask 1000 mothers about the best way to raise a child, and you will get 1000 different answers. A lot of it is trial and error, because every child is different, every circumstance is different. A woman having her fourth child at 39 years old in Lagos, Nigeria will be doing things differently from a woman having her first child at 39 years old in Houston, TX. So give yourself permission to try, make mistakes, and do things that others may not do, just for you to find your own sweet spot. It’s okay if you want to be a stay at home mother, so how can that fit in your family and how are you preparing for that now by not going into too much debt? It’s okay if you want to be a career woman, so how will that fit in your family and how are you preparing for that now by positioning yourself in a career where you earn enough to pay for daycare?
Spend Time with Your Friends & Family Now
You may not really have so much time to spend later. Cherish those that love you. At some point you will be able to spend time with friends and family again, but make sure you’ve let them know how much you appreciate them before you have to go into forced seclusion, so that they’ll still be there when you finally come out for air
Prepare Yourself to Be Amazed By How Wonderful it is to Love someone More Than You Love Yourself
As human beings we’re all selfish, but there’s something about those helpless ginormous eyes that remind you that perhaps life is not just about you, and perhaps there is a bigger purpose to existence, and perhaps life is not as terrible as people seem to always say it is.